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Sunday, December 11, 2011

Don't you ever wish...

Don't you ever wish that you had your kids closer in age? I hear that ALL the time and I can honestly answer that question with a resounding no! I realize that everyone is different but to me having my kids any closer in age and I am pretty sure I would have lost my mind. Let me give you a little background on everything before I go on. 
My dad and step mom did foster care because they weren't able to have kids of their own. They took in babies and at one point there were 5 kids under the age of 5 at my house while I was in high school. Crazy...yes! I helped out a lot of course and it wasn't hard at all. Now fast forward 10 years. My oldest is 5 1/2 and I have just come home from my deployment to Iraq in 2009 and my baby fever was at its highest. I had been wanting another baby for a good two years and would just joke around with my husband about it almost to judge which way he was going on the idea. Of course he was always more towards the idea of "the one we have is plenty and she is so full of energy." 
Well when I got back home from the desert I decided to sit down and have the serious "I want another baby" talk with him. It didn't go as I had planned and I knew in the back of my mind that there was going to be resistance from him. Because we couldn't seem to work through out disagreement over the subject on our own we decided to try counseling. I have always been a big supporter of counseling! I hate the stigma that surrounds counseling, the "oooohhh, you go to counseling" or that look you get when you mention it to someone. No you aren't crazy because you go to counseling. You are brave because you are trying to work through your problems head on. 
Anyways our first counseling session didn't quite go as well as planned. We had a female therapist in training (she had been a therapist for years but was new to the office so she did have the session herself and then a senior therapist from the office would come in for the second half.) and seemed to be good and listened to each of our sides of the story intently. The senior therapist came in to see how the session was going and she was also a female. In a matter of minutes my poor husband was bombarded by these two women about the importance of children, and how much that mothering, nurturing need I was feeling was very important. Of course I secretly wanted our therapist to be on my side...who wouldn't!! But I knew in my mind that it wouldn't be fair if we didn't have someone who remained impartial. 
So we scheduled our next session and made sure to change therapists and that was the best idea ever. Now I am not going to go into detail about the rest of our sessions because there needs to be some discretion. But the counselor told us from the beginning this isn't a conflict that you can compromise on. Someone is going to get their way and someone isn't. Very true. In the end we decided to wait 6 months and then start trying. It would give my husband time to adjust to the idea of having another kid. A baby. Starting from the beginning again. And also time to decide on financial things as well. We both realized that no matter how much planning and forethought is put into this that you will never be truly ready. Well 5 months after we started trying we got pregnant and now sitting next to me is the wonderfully beautiful 2 month baby girl that neither of us would trade for anything in the world. 
Now that I am mom to two beautiful girls it is so wonderful to have my older one there that if I need her to do something while I am bf Olivia she can do it for me. Or if I need her to hold the door open when we go somewhere she is there to help. And surprisingly her favorite...she likes to change diapers! Win for me! 
And a little FYI I am 7 years older than one of my sisters and we LOVE it. We have the best relationship! 

So no I don't ever wish....I am completely happy!
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