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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

When to be the Bigger Person

My heart is broken, crushed and totally confused. A week ago everything that I thought was is now not. As the Fresh Prince of Bel Air would say, "Now this is the story all about how 
My life got flipped, turned upside down."
I had my suspicions lately about a close friend of mine and her true intentions when it came to being my friend. She seemed genuine and was always nice but lately it seemed that she was more concerned with herself than being a true friend. Let me put it a little in perspective for ya. She is a single mom (tough job!!!) and has before come to me and ask me to help from time to time so she could quickly go do something. I didn't mind helping out a friend because that is what friends do. But lately when she and I would talk I would tell her how stressed I have been lately with going on 4 months of Justin gone and then when he was home (for a whopping 3 months) between deployments he was on the evening shift so I was still doing everything on my own during the week. Now with a mobile baby who gets into everything, school starting up for Taylor, keeping up with the housework, mounds of work AND work stress I have been at my wits end and I am counting down til Justin gets home (16 days!). I get the usual response "Girl I don't know how you do it...I can barely do this with one kid let alone two." Yet lately it has been "Can you watch my kid for a few hours?" every weekend. Seriously did you just hear how stressed I am getting and you want me to do what.....AND you don't offer to reciprocate?!? The icing on the cake came when she asked me to watch her kid for 12 hours on Saturday AND Sunday because she had to go into work. I seriously wanted to scream but I initially said yes. Then I thought to myself, "April you don't have to help ALL the time." Little did she remember she had told me a few days before that the kid's father had offered to watch him but because he had made her mad she didn't want him to. Not cool to try to throw this on me. 
So I ask a coworker of hers and come to find out this is her MO. Befriends someone and slowly become good friends and then in a way begin to "cling" to them to help with everything. Like I said before I can totally understand how hard it is to be a single parent. I give props because my 4 month period is really wearing me thin! BUT to then find out that my apparently "close" friend is also gossiping about me negatively behind my back really made it sting. 
Maybe I am one of those hopeless "good friend" who really believes that you treat someone the way you want to be treated. Especially when this person has called you one of their closest friends and then to find out they do this. At first I was sad and then of course...I was pissed. I wanted to scream at her and tell her what I thought of her. But if I did then I would be no better than her. Stooping to her level of meaness and shallowness is not in me. So I thought of what everyone has heard before, "If you don't have anything nice, don't say anything at all." If I said something then she would know someone told me and then it would make it awkward at work since we work in offices next to one another. BUT also what good would it do in the long run? So instead I have slowly pulled away and just sat back and felt sorry for her. Sorry that she doesn't see how lost a person she is to act like this. Sad that she thinks we all don't know how deceitful a person she is. 
But at the end of the day I know that I am a better and bigger person by continuing to be me and that it wasn't me that made her like that. I can only hope for her that one day she can realize that it isn't worth it to be like that.
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1 comment:

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